Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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