Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
