HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
