so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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