I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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