you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I cut my penus on the lid.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
