Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
