I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
