He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
