youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
