Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
