Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
