You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i out mim tonsoeep
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