If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
