You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
