the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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