return my video game
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
