Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
