College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
