please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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