You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
did you just send me my own nude
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
