You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
