Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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