Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
