i think my tv is drunk
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize