i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
