Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
