I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
