well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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