my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
