erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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