Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize