shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
