So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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