if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So vagazzling was a success
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
