Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
