Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize