Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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