Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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