Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
