**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
