remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
