Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
