Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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