Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize