So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want her autograph on my taint
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
