i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
