so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
