Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize