I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
