I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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