i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
