I think I died a long time ago.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
