Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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