i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
