so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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