Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
