Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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