Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
